Embodied Life™ Newsletter Archive

All articles written by Russell Delman

Unborn Mind (part 3)

November, 2011

How do we live in the paradox of unconditional gratitude amidst so much destruction and sorrow?

What are "unfathomable blessings"?

Years ago, Ram Das (spiritual teacher Richard Alpert) gave me a great teaching. He came for some sessions after having his massive stroke and we enjoyed connecting on many levels. While at times frustrated or having challenging moments, usually he would return quite quickly to curiosity about the moment. In our first session, when he needed help lying down and I held him in a big bear hug, we shared a belly laugh at the absurdity of the situation. At first he hated the dependency of "needing people to wipe my ass", but then we again laughed at how wonderful it was to be cared for so intimately.

What does it mean to stop struggling with life™ Does it suggest that you like everything that happens? Does it imply passivity? Does unconditional acceptance of life "as it is," mean that we can't dedicate ourselves to ending injustice, reducing suffering and healing our planet?

How can we live in these realizations: "You are never separate from True Self (God, Life, Love)" along with "Everything is as it is and as it needs to be until it isn't" while simultaneously feeling the tragedy of human violence toward the earth, her creatures and each other? How can one live fully into the "peace that surpasses all understanding" and also respond in revulsion to hate-filled crimes, destruction of the planet and selfishness revealed by human beings just like you and me?

If you are lucky enough to have an authentic practice of awakening and perhaps some help from a few spiritual benefactors, you will most likely experience the great freedom that comes from holding your self and your mental constructs lightly. By mental constructs I mean all the thoughts, feelings, reactions etc. that comprise your story of life.

As you learn to confidently live in the spaciousness of Being- the Unborn Mind- you do not dwell very long in your conditioned reactions. This does not mean that you do not have these reactions, rather, that soon after you notice your reactivity, your defensiveness and your struggling, you also remember the ever-present Unborn Mind. You choose to return to True Self rather than be lost in your reactivity. You learn how to be with the reactivity in a kind-hearted, curious way. Rather than having it take over the Self or pushing the feeling away or denying it, you learn to value your reactions as an expression of the Unborn, a part of your particular history. It is included as part of your life story, yet not true in any fundamental sense. Everything that IS is part of the reality of your life yet you are always much more than that particular state. You are the space in which the moment comes and the awareness that notices it (recall part 2 in this series of writings)!

So this is the edge- how to acknowledge the conditioned, historical, learned sense of self, how to value everything that has contributed to your development AND to remember the Unborn Mind. This remembering has an air of freshness, the moment feels new. As you grow more familiar with the Unborn you can even learn to maintain a kind of loving companionship with very challenging states like shame, anger or deep hurt. When held this way, the energy of these states will transform.

This is a unique positioning of oneself. One does not fall into the old stories (for very long) as if they are real and one does not fall into the "spiritual bypassing" or "process skipping" that can be so prevalent in spiritual circles. Finding this new way of locating ones self is very challenging until it isn't. We are so often entranced by our inner dialogue, keeping alive our old stories about who we are, who others are and what life is. Most of these stories were learned before we had enough awareness to really choose what was true. Yet always, before and within the conditioned self is this Unborn Mind.

Authentic meditation practice gives us the certainty that this original ground of being is right here, "closer than your skin". As I said in an earlier writing, one senses the silence from which sound emerges and to which it returns even as the particular sound is noticed. Knowing that this particular sound is only a temporary occurrence, one can feel that the spaciousness and infinite potentiality of the moment is never far away. Just as this is with sound so it is with thoughts, feelings- any mind state. One is either living in the Unborn or returning to it.

Emptying the cup of reactivity so that genuine responsiveness can emerge is the essence of meditation practice. It is also the essence of a path of awakening. We rest more and more in the open space out of which the moment emerges. We can learn to experience that open space during a mind state just as silence can be sensed within a sound.

I am concerned that this sounds too lofty, too extraordinary to be attainable, yet I am talking about ordinary people just like you and me. We can learn to PAUSE in our reactivity, breathe and connect with the Being that is free, even in that difficult moment. We can learn to have kind-heartedness toward the difficult moment. AND when all we can do is to notice that some reactive, self-protective state has emerged, when we are lost in a troubled state, we can be generous toward the place inside that is struggling. As this capacity grows, we notice our kindness and understanding toward others also growing.

Almost everyday I read the newspaper, it seems important to me to be exposed to all aspects of humanity, including the destructive qualities. Certain horror stories grab my innards and can bring me to tears. Yet, everyday I am also awed by the courage, generosity and loving-kindness of my fellow humans.

Just this week:

- In one story, a young girl loses her arm just two months ago and simultaneously loses her old dream of being a professional athlete yet refuses to let her loss be defining of who she is. Through new dreams and dedicating herself to helping others, she claims that life is rich and full and joy is joy even without that arm!

- A homeless man donates $20.00 each month to care for a child in Africa after hearing that the supporter of the child has died.

- A man released from prison after 25 years for a crime he did not commit forgives the prosecutor and the police and claims to have found deep peace through dealing with his incarceration.

My heart has many preferences, hopes and dreams. I do not live in a quiescent neutrality. I am moved by the people's suffering and my own challenging moments. Everyday, I pray for my loved ones safety and happiness. Everyday, I pray for our planet and for people who are struggling to be free. I know we will all have challenges yet I also know that, in the Unborn Mind, we can be free, even in very, very challenging conditions. This freedom includes loss, grief and sorrow yet, as the ancient wisdom affirms "love is stronger than death". Unfathomable blessings means to me that even with all the destructiveness, we can choose to lean toward the basic goodness that is life itself. This bowing to Life is the ground of knowing that the shower of blessings is continuous, always! And joy, love and peace become our home base. The Unborn Mind helps us remember. Unfathomable, Yes…………

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