Implicit Connectivity

Just sit there,
Don't do a thing
Just Rest……….

For your separation from God
And from Love
Is the hardest work in this world!


Do you sense a connection to life around you? I find this a surprisingly significant question. Only human beings seem to have the capacity for feeling separate from the social and physical worlds we are living in. Said another way, how do we humans create the experience of isolation, separateness, disconnection from life, love, nature, God, and other people, when this is so obviously inaccurate? It is as absurd as a fish forgetting/denying water. Can we imagine THIS life in THIS form without the great body called earth forming our bones and the perfectly calibrated chemical mixture called air nourishing our cells?

I am growing further and further into the ongoing experience of implicit connectivity. It is "only" when confusion lives in my disconnected thinking that I forget this implicit connectivity. My bodily experience is always inseparable from the world around me. Even the thoughts/feelings propelling this writing are the product of the glucose nourishing my brain from this mornings oatmeal and those oats came from earth, rain, sun, air, farmers hands, cooks skill- these thoughts are connected to the whole world, as is your capacity for reading and understanding.

Yet, we do have this experience, this capacity for disconnecting. We need to be honest about that. We get lost in our make-believe mental world and, at those moments, boy, it seems so real. Developing a bodily habit of pausing, dropping  inside into our bodies and directly sensing the living moment is an elixir for this disease. 

When reconnection occurs, even a little, there is a blessing showering upon us. It may feel very, very small at first. Yet, if you interrupt your habitual self-talk and open to your bodily experience, something deep in you and around you is urging you to connect.  You might feel something in your heart, in the center of your chest calling you. Maybe your belly is gurgling with some response to something that was said to you. Your body is always processing the living situations in which you are alive. Some cultures speak of the beings of earth, the beings of air, the beings of water, the beings of sound actually calling to us, inviting us into relationship. I do not know about this. I do know that implicit connectivity is always there, when I let my bodily process be open to it.

Even in challenging moments there is always what I call a "shower of blessings" when I can directly feel that life is living through me in this moment. Letting a color or sound or sensation be sensed- free from my story about the moment- allows a sense of being touched by life. From this sense of being touched by life comes what I call the "field of gratitude" just as from the "field of gratitude" comes a "shower of blessings". You can enter the implicit connectivity from either feeling touched by a blessing (a blessing is anything that gets through to your heart) OR from sensing gratitude for anything. They lead to each other.

BUT you say, what of those moments when I am so disconnected, so depressed, so full of "NO, DAMMIT, I don't want to be touched by any damn thing". Yes, even here, with practice, a soft voice can arise and say, "even now there is more occurring than just your sorrow" and  "I am with you, yes I know it is really, really hard, tell me about it" (maybe placing a gentle hand on that spot). Take care of that suffering place that arises inside of you in the moments of disconnection.

"Yeah but it still might be a painful moment".

"Yes that is true". Pain is part of our living experience. Yet when we are in connection with Self and life, pain is just pain. It can feel terrible AND we can actually feel WHOLE within the experience. When we start fighting with the pain and disconnect from life then we begin to suffer, really, really suffer. Please do not separate from your living experience as it is occurring through your body and, if you do, come home soon!

"We are quintessentially integral with the universe.
In ourselves the universe is revealed to itself as we are revealed in the universe. Such a statement could be made about any aspect of the universe because every being in the universe articulates some special quality of the universe in its entirety.
Indeed nothing in the universe could be itself apart from every other being in the universe, nor could any moment of the universe story exist apart from all the other moments in the story. Yet it is within our own being that we have our own unique experience of the universe and of the Earth in its full reality."

~Thomas Berry, The Great Work: Our Way into the Future.

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Mechanization, Technology and Humanity


It is the year 2100. The ancient spiritual dream of heaven on earth, Shambhala, where all Beings are loving, caring and enlightened has unfolded. A sense of interconnectedness lives throughout humanity. Close friendships have developed between people from diverse cultures and countries. This great development was accelerated through technology, especially the Internet. 

Through seeing natural and political disasters in real time, our compassion is awakened. All beings, human and other, become our family. Even in remote villages access to all the scientific and spiritual wisdom that exists on this planet is immediately available. After millennia of relative isolation, where our caring only extended to family, tribe and friends, we finally have reached the land of brotherly and sisterly love known as Philadelphia (philos=love, adelphos- brotherly). The Internet was the means for weaving us all together.


It is the year 2100. The science fiction picture of mechanized humanity has become real. Saturated with information, actual authentic connectedness is rare. Humans prefer the safety of electronic images to the uncertainty of direct contact. Looking at screens is interpreted as interchangeable with being body to body in the same location. Listening to lectures over the internet is considered indistinguishable from sharing physical space with the speaker. Cyber-sex has become more appealing and less threatening than true intimacy. Virtual reality machines create the feeling of authentic experiences. Even vacations in which all your senses are immersed in a substitute world are the norm.

Gift or Curse?

I am very grateful that I can write these words, press a button and so many people can share these thoughts. Certainly, this interconnecting has great potential for life on earth.


Have you ever felt addicted to checking your email, surfing the web, watching television or otherwise giving yourself an electronic dose of quasi- reality? 

Did you know that the ‘beep’ that sounds when an email arrives  elicits the same response in the brain’s pleasure centers as chocolate or sexual imagery?

Just as native people were frightened that a camera could steal their soul, perhaps something similar is happening to humanity. Are we using these media or are they beginning to control us? 

How can we use technology without getting used by it? This is the question we are exploring. This issue is central for all of us. In subtle, nefarious ways we become entranced. I see it in myself. How easily I can be drawn, in compulsive ways, to the cyber-universe even though I am a person who loves nature, direct human connecting and quiet times without external stimulation.

From my point of view, we are in grave danger unless we mobilize the consciousness and will-forces to navigate this new stage of evolution.  The internet is exquisite for information sharing, can save lives and radically impact the world in helpful ways. Hearing music from around the world, seeing sporting and cultural events can enhance our lives greatly. Yet, all of these have a potentially great cost. Substitute worlds seem real. Electronic images seem interchangeable with that which is living. The uncertainty that comes with authentic, embodied living seems messy compared to an airbrushed reality. Although subtle, can you sense our collective trance?

I am especially concerned about young people. Just the other day my wife and I were in a restaurant enjoying a lovely meal. We noticed a family with two children, each with IPADS that were keeping them entertained. We felt disturbed as we noticed the glazed, disconnected look in their eyes. Even when their parents spoke to them there was little contact. Who chose the machines? Does this choice encourage human freedom and connectedness?

Children have not developed the neurological capacity to differentiate electronic imagery from the real. Their brains are defenseless against the seduction of the lights, sounds and images that stimulate their pleasure centers. Just as we protect them from running onto a busy street, we need the same sense of urgency to protect them from the electronic world.

I observe young adults, people raised on these machines, where the norm seems to include almost constant electronic “dosing”. Each instance is not damaging in itself and at times can be a fine choice.  These technological “advances” can be used positively. It is the addiction, the trance inducing, brain-altering potential that is of tremendous concern.

Adults also must be wary of an inflated sense of autonomy and self-control.  Our capacity for genuine freedom is on the line here! It is very difficult to discern when one is in a trance, so easy for the seduced brain to fool itself. We need practices, teachers and communities of fellow seekers to help us wake up! I am grateful that my life is filled with so many opportunities to spend time with other people who are committed to growing awareness and a path of awakening.

In the last few years, I have had more and more students who are addicted to surfing the web whether for news, shopping or pornography. Many families are in the habit of leaving television on even when no one is watching. Conversation and interconnecting begins to feel tiresome and just watching something seems the most relaxing. It is challenging yet extremely important to question our own habits and to find the right balance for our lives.

Some spiritual traditions speak of dark forces that seek to entrap humankind. Their goal is to eliminate free will. I do not know if these are actual entities with a conscious plan. I do know that the mechanization of the human being that can come through unconscious use of technology would be the ideal means for such a venture. When I see people walking down the street or through airports completely isolated in their own world, absorbed in their earphones or tiny screens with little connection to others I wonder if we are becoming collectively enslaved. Driving through suburbia at night and seeing these blue lights of televisions emanating from almost every house sends shivers up my spine. What is happening to us?

Again, how can we use technology without getting used by it?  Clearly the answer is not to go retrograde and swear off all media, this is regressive. There is too much positive potential here. Besides, going backward is not an option when on an evolutionary trajectory. What are the antidotes?


I have painted a pretty grim picture. Still, I have tremendous faith in the capacity of human beings. We are drawn toward greater awareness, love and freedom. Even more, I sense that the evolution of life has an intrinsic orientation toward Shambhala and Philadelphia. 

Some suggestions:

  • Develop practices that help you to grow your capacity for embodied awareness in general.
  • Be conscious each time you choose to use electronic media (internet, smart phone, email, television, movies, radio):
  • PAUSE to make conscious your decision to check the email, send a message, make the call or watch that show, etc.
  • PAUSE to collect yourself in an embodied way. This means to sense your breathing, your connection to the ground, and contact with the space around you. Feel into the living moment and reconnect consciously every 15 minutes. Simply sensing a whole breath, taking your eyes off the screen, checking in with your inner life is enough to interrupt the unconsciousness. As you do this, it becomes a “bodily habit” that requires little effort.
  • If your children are watching electronic shows, interact with them, bringing human connecting into the experience.
  • When possible shut down your “devices” except when expecting a message so that you can choose when to check.
  • Be aware of the unconscious act of checking simply out of boredom or habit.
  • When communicating something personal handwrite a note.
  • For important, remote conversations use telephone or Skype rather than texting so that the sound of the voice and possibly the gestures are part of the interaction.
  • Spend time “wired down” and if possible connect with nature everyday. In cities visit the parks or just sense the air. Nature is always there! 
  • Get into water either a bath or extended shower, sense into the element of water and let it soothe you.
  • Most important, stay alive to the question, “am I choosing in freedom or acting from compulsion when using any electronic media?” Becoming conscious of a compulsive action, even if you do not change it, is a big help!
  • Do we have the capacity to use these great and expanding opportunities for interconnecting without getting lost? I am not sure. I, for one, am committed to doing my best to stay alert. Navigating these issues effectively will bring us many steps closer to the world we hope to create. Please reflect on these things and forward this newsletter to others.

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Ice melting in the Arctic, climatic changes throughout the planet, many of us are concerned about the environment that our children’s children will inherit from our decisions and actions today.

My larger concern is the “mind field” that we will bequeath to future generations. What do I mean by mind field? When one practices meditation and enters into certain expanded states of consciousness, the reality that our minds are interconnected becomes obvious and clear. Whether called consciousness, the collective unconscious or the Divine, the fact that we live simultaneously as autonomous individuals and in a state of inter-being becomes both verifiable and undeniable.

Even without these “altered states”, when one experiences the kindness of strangers and the spontaneous blessings that are constantly shared throughout the planet, we can also know this sense of interconnection. My recent writings about the Unborn Mind points toward this shared inheritance. To paraphrase Zen Master Bankei, “the greatest gift we receive from our parents is the Unborn Mind”. The Unborn is our access to and membership in the shared, collective consciousness out of which everything we experience arises.

Imagine this moment, each thought and each feeling, every creative impulse, arises from the Unborn, also known as silence. When Zen masters speak of “emptiness” they are pointing toward the infinite potential of the next moment, which arises from this vast field of silence.

Remember the old Zen story of the philosophy professor who visits the master and can’t stop talking. The master pours him a cup of tea and does not stop pouring even as it spills all over the table. The startled professor finally notices and says, “what are you doing, the cup is already full”. The master says “you say you want to learn about living and dying yet your cup is so full there is no room for anything new”.

The challenge is to allow enough empty space for the creative potential of the new moment. On one level we can say there is nothing to be concerned about. New moments are always arising and creativity lives deeply in our lifeblood. We will always have creative potential. Yet, I do worry deeply about the loss of two essential, overlapping capacities- the appreciation of silence and our tolerance for boredom.

To sit in silence, refraining from the usual means of self-entertainment: computers, TV, smart phones, reading etc. is uncomfortable for most of us. To be at home in our own thoughts, feelings and sensations, without creating distractions is rare. I believe this “wasting time” is very important for our health and creative potential. As Hafiz said, “Everything is God speaking, why not be polite and listen”. To listen means to empty your cup, allow enough space for something unexpected to emerge, to become permeable to the moment.

For me, just sitting quietly is the most nourishing gift to and from my inner world. How might this also be a gift to the larger world? First, there seems to be an alteration in the brains of people who sit consistently that seems to influence the field around you. We can say that you radiate certain qualities. People feel more at ease in your presence. There is something calming about you. Second, you are less quick to react in habitual ways. Though you can respond effectively with speed when needed, the unconscious patterns of reactivity seem to have more insulation around them. Your less skillful reactions and comments can be more readily inhibited. This generates more peace in your universe. Third, as you spend time with other people who are practicing silence, you notice a shared depth that allows a more authentic sense of self to emerge. Fourth, as anyone visiting a meditation room can attest, the space itself is influenced by the silent practice. As many say, it is as if the walls themselves are meditating.

We all hate boredom. When my father would come home to an empty apartment he would turn on two TV’s and a radio just to have some “company”. Most of us can relate to this impulse. Filling up the empty spaces protects us from all those feelings we would rather not experience. What is the price for this “filling up”? Does the temporary calming actually sustain a kind of omnipresent, low level anxiety?

Over the last 35 years as a Feldenkrais teacher I have observed a startling change in the children that I see. The level of inner agitation when in a quiet setting seems greatly elevated. I remember kids in the early days coming to my office happy to play with a little stuffed animal, a ball or one of the favorites, the plastic jack-in-the-box. Now, I notice an uneasiness, a dis-ease, that is somewhat ameliorated only when engaged with the flashes, beeps and bells of their favorite electronic toy. As neurological research is showing, our brains can be conditioned to a dependence on the “rewarding” sounds and fast, bright images that accompany all the games that they love to play. The pleasure centers in our brains actually become addicted to these stimuli. As adults we can notice the same thing, that little inner tickle that comes when a new email message arrives and the urge to immediately find out who it is from. Fully formed brains have far greater capacity for regulating these phenomena, our children’s brains are so innocent and vulnerable, sponges for the stimuli they are offered. Certain school environments such as Waldorf Schools take this very seriously and strongly discourage these kinds of stimuli for young children.

Tolerating more moments of “boredom” often can create something unexpected. If one meditates regularly or finds other ways to explore “not doing”, emerging from that open space are experiences that often seem very deep, whole and authentic. By becoming available to unscripted, unfilled moments, we can be surprised by a sometimes blissful, often illuminating present. Said another way, we become permeable to the constant blessings and offerings emanating from the Universe.

Without going into the whole sociological debate about technology (I am writing on a computer, I value my many emails each day and can relish electronic media; I am not suggesting an attempt at retro-living), I want to stand up for the great blessing of silence and boredom. In fact, I will go even further, suggesting that as more people learn to sit in silence, we will influence the mind field for future generations. I suggest that the capacity for being at home in the mystery of Being requires a willingness to take time each day turning off the various forms of entertainment and just Being with one’s living moment. If humanity loses this great capacity, we will simultaneously surrender our creative potential and our capacity for true freedom.

How do we live in the paradox of unconditional gratitude amidst so much destruction and sorrow?

What are "unfathomable blessings"?

Years ago, Ram Das (spiritual teacher Richard Alpert) gave me a great teaching. He came for some sessions after having his massive stroke and we enjoyed connecting on many levels. While at times frustrated or having challenging moments, usually he would return quite quickly to curiosity about the moment. In our first session, when he needed help lying down and I held him in a big bear hug, we shared a belly laugh at the absurdity of the situation. At first he hated the dependency of “needing people to wipe my ass”, but then we again laughed at how wonderful it was to be cared for so intimately.

What does it mean to stop struggling with life? Does it suggest that you like everything that happens? Does it imply passivity? Does unconditional acceptance of life “as it is,” mean that we can’t dedicate ourselves to ending injustice, reducing suffering and healing our planet?

How can we live in these realizations:” You are never separate from True Self (God, Life, Love)” along with “Everything is as it is and as it needs to be until it isn’t” while simultaneously feeling the tragedy of human violence toward the earth, her creatures and each other? How can one live fully into the “peace that surpasses all understanding” and also respond in revulsion to hate-filled crimes, destruction of the planet and selfishness revealed by human beings just like you and me?

If you are lucky enough to have an authentic practice of awakening and perhaps some help from a few spiritual benefactors, you will most likely experience the great freedom that comes from holding your self and your mental constructs lightly. By mental constructs I mean all the thoughts, feelings, reactions etc. that comprise your “story” of life.

As you learn to confidently live in the spaciousness of Being- the Unborn Mind- you do not dwell very long in your conditioned reactions. This does not mean that you do not have these reactions, rather, that soon after you notice your reactivity, your defensiveness and your struggling, you also remember the ever-present Unborn Mind. You choose to return to True Self rather than be lost in your reactivity. You learn how to be with the reactivity in a kind-hearted, curious way. Rather than having it take over the Self or pushing the feeling away or denying it, you learn to value your reactions as an expression of the Unborn, a part of your particular history. It is included as part of your life story, yet not true in any fundamental sense. Everything that IS is part of the reality of your life yet you are always much more than that particular state. You are the space in which the moment comes and the awareness that notices it (recall part 2 in this series of writings)!

So this is the edge- how to acknowledge the conditioned, historical, learned sense of self, how to value everything that has contributed to your development AND to remember the Unborn Mind. This remembering has an air of freshness, the moment feels new. As you grow more familiar with the Unborn you can even learn to maintain a kind of loving companionship with very challenging states like shame, anger or deep hurt. When held this way, the energy of these states will transform.

This is a unique positioning of oneself. One does not fall into the old stories (for very long) as if they are real and one does not fall into the “spiritual bypassing” or “process skipping” that can be so prevalent in spiritual circles. Finding this new way of locating ones self is very challenging until it isn’t. We are so often entranced by our inner dialogue, keeping alive our old stories about who we are, who others are and what life is. Most of these stories were learned before we had enough awareness to really choose what was true. Yet always, before and within the conditioned self is this Unborn Mind.

Authentic meditation practice gives us the certainty that this original ground of being is right here, “closer than your skin”. As I said in an earlier writing, one senses the silence from which sound emerges and to which it returns even as the particular sound is noticed. Knowing that this particular sound is only a temporary occurrence, one can feel that the spaciousness and infinite potentiality of the moment is never far away. Just as this is with sound so it is with thoughts, feelings- any mind state. One is either living in the Unborn or returning to it.

Emptying the cup of reactivity so that genuine responsiveness can emerge is the essence of meditation practice. It is also the essence of a path of awakening. We rest more and more in the open space out of which the moment emerges. We can learn to experience that open space during a mind state just as silence can be sensed within a sound.

I am concerned that this sounds too lofty, too extraordinary to be attainable, yet I am talking about ordinary people just like you and me. We can learn to PAUSE in our reactivity, breathe and connect with the Being that is free, even in that difficult moment. We can learn to have kind-heartedness toward the difficult moment. AND when all we can do is to notice that some reactive, self-protective state has emerged, when we are lost in a troubled state, we can be generous toward the place inside that is struggling. As this capacity grows, we notice our kindness and understanding toward others also growing.

Almost everyday I read the newspaper, it seems important to me to be exposed to all aspects of humanity, including the destructive qualities. Certain horror stories grab my innards and can bring me to tears. Yet, everyday I am also awed by the courage, generosity and loving-kindness of my fellow humans.

Just this week:

- In one story, a young girl loses her arm just two months ago and simultaneously loses her old dream of being a professional athlete yet refuses to let her loss be defining of who she is. Through new dreams and dedicating herself to helping others, she claims that life is rich and full and joy is joy even without that arm!
- A homeless man donates $20.00 each month to care for a child in Africa after hearing that the supporter of the child has died.
- A man released from prison after 25 years for a crime he did not commit forgives the prosecutor and the police and claims to have found deep peace through dealing with his incarceration.

My heart has many preferences, hopes and dreams. I do not live in a quiescent neutrality. I am moved by the people’s suffering and my own challenging moments. Everyday, I pray for my loved ones safety and happiness. Everyday, I pray for our planet and for people who are struggling to be free. I know we will all have challenges yet I also know that, in the Unborn Mind, we can be free, even in very, very challenging conditions. This freedom includes loss, grief and sorrow yet, as the ancient wisdom affirms “love is stronger than death”. Unfathomable blessings means to me that even with all the destructiveness, we can choose to lean toward the basic goodness that is life itself. This bowing to Life is the ground of knowing that the shower of blessings is continuous, always! And joy, love and peace become our home base. The Unborn Mind helps us remember. Unfathomable, Yes…………

One great tragedy of Zen, is that its very practical teachings can easily become obscure and seemingly intellectual. I notice that sometimes lofty density is presented as Wisdom. True Zen teachers always sit face to face with real people who experience sorrow, confusion and suffering. The teachings are not a way out but a way through. We can sense that being at home in the moment IS our very nature. For me, the sense of freedom that comes with this at-homeness is experienced as unconditional love. How can we know this?

Great Zen masters of the past often had one phrase, word or image that summarized their realization. This became the center of their teaching. "One bright jewel" was Xuansha's teaching, "this very mind is Buddha" belonged to Mazu. Perhaps the most powerful and resonant for me has been Bankei's "Unborn mind" also called “Unborn Buddha mind”. Often I return to this expression as a doorway. I find it an evocative entry into "True Self" or, simply, to "what is".

Let's explore this together.

While the Unborn Mind can not be effectively described in words, we can point toward three qualities or aspects.

1) For any moment to arise, implicitly there must be a space in which it can appear. This can be called the spaciousness of the present moment. Any experience, appears within a context- your chair is in a room, the room in a building, the building on some land and on and on. Thoughts and feelings appear in a space called mind or consciousness.

2) Next, for any moment to be experienced there must be the capacity for noticing. When a sound appears you effortlessly notice it. Without thought you can tell if it is the voice of a man or woman, the sound of a bird or a car. This capacity for noticing is an essential aspect of any well-functioning human nervous system. This can be called effortless awareness. Of course this is not only in relation to sound but in all aspects of our experiencing.

3) Prior to thought, before opinions and any personal reactivity is the infinite potential of the present moment also called inherent capacity. What is inherent capacity? Pause for a moment and listen to the silence that lives behind and within any sounds that are present. Even amidst great noise, we can intuit the silence that makes the sound possible. Listen softly, diffuse in attention, not in a focused way.

We are always in the atmosphere of silence, that great canvas upon which the world of sound paints. The next moment will bring unexpected, unanticipated, uncontrolled sound. This is the infinite potential of the present moment: always fresh, always unique always new.

What is the Unborn mind?

The Unborn mind points us toward the spaciousness of the present moment, the capacity for noticing it and its infinite potential. My most profound moments are the simple awe at being alive and the fact that “I” know it! Bankei would say that the great gift we received from our parents or from Life itself is this “Unborn Mind”.

Every living moment has these three elements: open space in which something can appear-"spaciousness", the capacity for noticing- "awareness" and the infinite potential of the present moment- "what is”.

Perhaps this sounds very lofty or abstract or maybe even too simple, yet all of this is directly connected to our everyday living. How is this so? Just now, I received a letter from a mother, an old student who has been caring for her brain-injured child. After a challenging delivery, many months in the hospital and hearing the dreaded words “brain injury”, she has been living in the challenge and deep, deep gratitude for this exquisite Being who has changed her life. Her child is an “unfathomable blessing” to her. She told me that her learning from previous years about saying “YES” to what is and placing Life itself above her preferences, without denying her hopes or her pain, have carried her through this time. I am again awed- this time by the human capacity to bow to Life. My heart experiences another “unfathomable blessing”.

Why is the Unborn so important to me?

Why do I know it as a doorway to freedom, clarity and loving-kindness?

How is this related to “unfathomable blessings”?

How does it speak to the paradox of experiencing constant gratitude amidst worldly suffering and destruction?

Please join me in the practice of working intimately with these questions, connecting with the "Unborn mind" and we will explore it further in the next newsletter. Your questions and comments are welcome.

In 1982, I was sitting with Moshe Feldenkrais in his apartment on Frug St. in Tel Aviv, (I recently heard there is now a plaque outside this building commemorating this remarkable man). As I sit here in California 30 years later, I am once again intrigued by one of his statements. We were discussing my Zen meditation practice and how it connects with my work as a Feldenkrais practitioner. From prior conversations, he knew that sitting meditation was of great importance to me. At the time, if asked, I would say that I stood on two legs: one called meditation- the study of movement within stillness and the other called the Feldenkrais Method- a study of stillness within movement.

We sat facing each other at his simple desk, a large, wall-size, floor-to-ceiling bookcase behind him laden with books. Without looking up he said, "go to the lower right section of the bookcase, about 3 or 4 rows from the bottom and about a meter from the wall, pull out a small black book". Following his direction, I found a slim volume by a Japanese Zen master living in Jerusalem. As he would often do, Moshe asked me to read the book as I sat across from him at his desk. He had met with this master and was curious about my impression. When I finished, I expressed my gratitude for the emphasis placed on authentic, personal experience that Zen masters including this man express. He looked up and said "if I did not have my own teaching, I would study Zen because- they are the only one's who really understand and appreciate paradox".

This comment still lives for me. Feldenkrais could live easily with inherent contradictions. He would say things like "to really be helpful, you can't care whether a person gets better". Or "it is impossible to change people, though they can transform". He enjoyed, and more, deeply valued the great importance of living in the discomfort of paradox.

There is a paradox that lives in my heart each day. I can state it like this, how does one embody the unconditional gratitude that naturally arises from experiencing the shower of blessings that are always present while simultaneously seeing all the destruction and suffering on this planet? Love and peace are always available even when sorrow is also present. One does not fight "what is" even when the circumstances are unpleasant or undesirable. When one begins to live in gratitude, even challenging moments are filled with "unfathomable blessings".

I recently heard the story of a very spiritually evolved couple who lost their child in a car crash. Without hiding from the grief and loss, the ground beneath their feet seems to be the gratitude for the "Being" they got to share their lives with and an inner confidence in the unfolding of Life itself. Can one imagine a greater testament to "bowing to Life"? Of course, there is also as much space as needed for yelling at God or at Life, let's not exclude these responses! Still, can we see the possibility of putting the living reality of our situations higher than our desire and our preferences without turning that into denial or avoidance?

Over the next weeks I will be writing about Zen Master Bankei's famous teaching of "the Unborn Mind". So much changes when we deeply appreciate this realization of the "unborn, undying" which is the Zen way of asking us to break through, under the bottom of the bottom, to our True Self. Paradoxically, the extraordinary opaqueness of the teaching turns into transparency. We are never separate from "unborn-ness". Remembering this is liberating. How can we know the Unborn mind and what does this knowing invite in us?

Please reflect on all this and I will write further on the Unborn Mind next week.

Please read slowly, with pauses for reflection.

“When we listen attentively there is neither agreement or disagreement; we are just in a state of attention”
J. Krishnamurti

Can you hear that sound?

There are sounds in your world right now. Notice the auditory vibrations around you without judgment, without choosing the bird and ignoring the car or any ‘this’ over any ‘that’.

In noticing these vibrations, can you sense, perhaps intuit, the silence from which they come and to which they return? (This takes a bit of time). When we become quiet enough, we begin to notice the space of silence, of stillness, out of which moments emerge and to which they return. This is relatively easy to learn, and extremely important. AND it is not enough! What happens in human interaction?

I want to learn to listen better. Even as I deepen my connection to the ground of silence, I notice how challenging it is to really listen to the people in my world, especially my most intimate relations. My opinions and needs seem to overwhelm my capacity to just take in the living experience of the other. The desire to be ‘right’ begins to dominate these and other conversations.

For example, when I hear people speaking aggressively from a different political persuasion it happens, my need to convince, to correct errors, to make it more like “I” see it. I tell myself that this reactivity is a commitment to truth yet deep down I sense the personal angst that arises when really setting aside my own views and just listening. At moments like these, remembering silence is critical.

Returning to this welcoming quality of stillness is always vivifying and restorative. In human interaction, this means giving listening a priority of place. It seems to me there are three directions to listening: 1) toward the other, 2) toward our pre-verbal, intuitive inner life and 3) toward a larger truth that is woven through the process of interacting. All three are always much more than the words that are being spoken.

True listening requires the courageous act of putting our point of view to the side, not too far away, more like next to ourselves. We don’t want to lose or undervalue our perspectives from the past yet we want to be free from them as new possibilities are forming.

There can be a conundrum here. Knowing the great value of silence, of “the place before opinions”, I sometimes undervalue the world of human interaction, which includes diverse opinions and points of view. Since all views are always only partial, I sense a temptation to linger in the more profound truth of silence. Not capable of saying “All”, a part of me says, “why say any”? As a very quiet friend of mine used to say, “if you can’t improve upon the silence don’t speak”!

Yet, I also sense that we grow each other through conversation. I am changed by your thoughtful, honest and heartfelt communications. Offering each other an expression of what is living in us can be a gift of great intimacy. We are constantly re-forming our “self” through interacting. Questioning ourselves and each other in the earnest seeking of truth has value for our individual and collective learning.

Growing the capacity to disagree, to hone our truth against a contrary view in supportive and creative ways is important. The old style of fighting for our views, of being clever to ‘win’ is not helpful. The newer strategy of seeing equal truth in all views does not evoke the highest clarity in human beings. Even as we grow our connection to silence, to that space before ideas/beliefs/desires, we can also develop our capacity for “listening-speaking”.

Listening-speaking places a high value on pausing, taking a breath, dropping down into our embodied sensations. We step out of our reactivity, out of our certainty. We allow the silence that sustains each moment to permeate the interaction, saturating it with fresh air and new possibilities. This is truly a creative act. Truth, beauty and goodness become more important than being right!

What kind of speaking arises from this deep listening? Often, the expression that comes from this inner place is something new, something that surprises the speaker. It is a fresh understanding that is born from that moment of interacting. Often these are moments of insight and new direction for both the speaker and companions.

Cultivating this kind of “listening-speaking” is both challenging and essential. The good news is that the space of silence, of stillness is never far away. It is an expression of our Being. It is closer than our skin. It always invites a sense of being at home in the Universe. From this ground, we can feel safe enough to put aside our opinions, our need to be right and really listen. Then we can also seek and often find a way to speak a newly forming truth.

This is my goal for the New Year. I will fall down many times, then I will stand up, return to silence, apologize, listen-speak and continue learning…………


When life touches me, I feel so grateful
When feeling grateful, life touches me
Being Touched/Feeling Grateful
Feeling Grateful/Being Touched
Receiving giving, giving receiving Interpenetrating
From all alone to all one…
Implicit Gratitude

“She smiled. So much lives in a simple facial expression:
‘Nothing we can do about it’.
‘Strange to be in these little metal boxes’. ‘Wonder how long it will last?’.
‘No big deal really, we are safe, fed and whole’.

There we were, commuters stuck in a big, unmoving traffic jam. In the moment of receiving that smile something settled in my body, in my shoulders where some tension was building, in my belly where some ‘wishing to be some place else’ was growing. For the rest of that day and even now as I write this, that smile brings great gratitude into my heart and a smile to my face”.

Please try the following experiment.

Reflect on a recent moment in which you felt touched by life.
It need not be an extraordinary moment just a simple experience in which you felt something like, “Yes, this is good”.

Examples include seeing a beautiful flower, tasting something delicious, hot water in the shower, a smile from a stranger or finding an unexpected seat while waiting. Really anything will do in which there is a moment of being touched.

Take a moment, close your eyes for ten seconds and recall in sensory rich detail this moment. Where are you? What can you see? Are there sounds? Any smells? Let the moment live in your memory, let it flood through you.

Continue reading after this process (note-I strongly encourage you to pause and take 30 seconds for this process, it really works!).

Now, I wonder, is a sense of gratitude implicit in being touched by life? Does a quiet voice inside echo with something like “thank you”?

My experience is that every moment of being touched by life includes the scent of thankfulness. Importantly, this thanks is not added to the moment later. It is not like a child being taught to say “thank you”. Actually, the gratitude is living within and inside the moment of feeling touched. It is implicit.

Why is this so important? A remarkable reversability arises from this observation- gratitude can evoke touching moments. Gifts will come to you through the back door of gratitude. Back door? By this I mean that through consciously cultivating gratitude-actually looking for moments of thankfulness- you will be gifted with many more moments of deep connectedness. Reviewing ANY hour of my life, even painful ones, there are many, many simple gifts for which I can experience gratitude, when I give my attention to them.

In this season of Thanksgiving, harvest and gratitude for the great gifts we are given, may we allow our inner life to be flooded with the sweetness of feeling touched. Amidst our sorrows and struggles, we can take brief moments to offer our gratitude for the simple blessings that allow our life to unfold.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Zazen- sitting meditation- is my home.

Though variously peaceful, uncomfortable, quiet, chatter-filled and delightful, it is always just what it is. Of course my whole life is always just what it is, yet in all other situations I can have the illusion of accomplishing something.

Every morning I come to my cushion, reminding myself in an embodied way that “just this” is enough. “Just this” means just being, just breathing, just sitting here, just living.

Without this ground, I am forever on a treadmill of accomplishment. My self-worth becomes intertwined with my ‘to do’ list. The day’s completions translate as “good” days or “bad” days. Meaningfulness becomes equated with doing.

My practice is called Shikantaza or ‘just sitting’. It is crucial that this is not practiced for something: not for enlightenment, not for mindfulness, clarity, stress reduction, health, or spiritual growth. There needs to be one place in our lives that is not about anything else. Just Being (and not even accomplishing ‘being’).

I also have the strong voice of the doer, the one who gets great satisfaction from work. I deeply value this part of me. Work includes all our deeds in the world, everything from our job to doing the dishes. The feeling of fulfillment from these deeds is essential to our lives.

Often when I suggest a sitting practice, people complain that they do not have enough time. They need to make every moment count. I say the busier you are, the more helpful it is to just sit. Other ways of ‘wasting time’: traversing the internet, watching TV, idle chatter, etc. while sometimes restorative are not the same as ‘just sitting’. The value of not doing anything can never be overstated or understated. It actually exists in its own timeless universe.

Let’s not fall into the dualistic trap of choosing between doing and being. Know that it is impossible to realize the naturalness of Being through doing. You can’t turn “Being” into an accomplishment. Everyday I have my goals, my ‘to do’ list, my accomplishments. And everyday I bathe in the fresh water of not-doing. I encourage you to join me in spending some of your day just sitting and accomplishing nothing.

“You never listen to me”
, she said.
“Your not the only one with feelings”, he said.
“I can’t take it any more”, she said.
“Your never satisfied”, he said.

On and on they went:
Like two televisions on different channels.
Is anybody listening?

Learning to LISTEN wholeheartedly is central to a blossoming life. By listening I am referring to: listening to others, to our own feelings, to our inner voices, to our bodily process and to the whole situation in which we are living at a given moment. There are many reasons why this can be challenging. Though the following ideas are relevant to all situations, in this article, I will explore the instance of listening to other people in moments of disagreement. I will also suggest a path of resolution.

Why is listening to another so challenging?

To truly listen is to step beyond oneself. As Zen master Dogen reminds us: “To Study the Self is to forget the self. To forget the self is to be enlightened by all things.

“Self” in the sense means more than the individual, conditioned ‘self’; it points us toward the “I” that emerges in relationship. Rather than viewing the “I” as a solid entity that moves from relationship to relationship, it is helpful to picture a “Self” or even better a “Self-ing” that reforms from situation to situation. This “self-ing” includes the “historical self” and everything connected to the particular living situation. When we are dedicated to deep listening, our dominant intention is to place our self in the background and deeply receive the other, to feel how the world is from where they are living. This dedication requires a kind of surrender.

This means that our usual obsession with our own ideas and with maintaining our position is placed to the side. To TRULY listen means that we quiet our point of view and we place the other "above" ourselves. "Above" in this sense means that we want to really take in the reality of the other without adding our opinions. This is a profoundly generous act.

I am not implying that our own wanting is irrelevant, rather that we are cultivating the maturity to postpone our own needs and longings. This postponing can feel both daunting and terrifying. Something in us can feel like we will die if we don't respond immediately or even beat the other to the punch! We must make our point How can we bear this intense inner pressure?
Here our embodiment can really help (for where else do we feel the pressure and the sense of danger but in our bodily experience)? Pressure always implies not enough space. When pressure builds in a balloon, the air is consuming all of the space. When it bursts, the spatial limits are exceeded. We can feel like this in challenging moments. IF the balloon could suddenly double in size, it would not feel so pressurized and would not burst. How can we “double our size” in moments like this?

Three keys to inner space: grounding, breathing and spatial awareness.

First, grounding: directly sensing our contact with the surface under us has the effect of: 1) helping us to sense the support of a ‘larger body’ and 2) offering an escape valve for the pressure that is building in our body. To change analogies, if an electrical system does not have a ground wire it will burn out when the charge is too much. When intensity rises, we create a counter-force by bringing attention down into the ground. Sensing the earth allows us to directly experience the literal support that is always present in every moment.

Second, breathing: in moments of intensity, most of us have a habit of either holding the breath or hyperventilating. Both of these reactions create inner pressure. Holding the breath and over-breathing are unconscious attempts to have more oxygen. Ironically, the best way to insure harmonious oxygen flow is through encouraging a full exhale. Letting go of the breath is the key to recovering a natural breathing rhythm. PAUSING and sensing the breath is very helpful. This pause is fundamental to the shift we are seeking. Stepping back for a moment and sensing THIS breath will change your world. Awareness of breath will allow this shift to occur and inner space will naturally grow. Ideally, I recommend following three breaths from beginning to end, counting each exhale. Stay present to the end of each exhale.

Third, spatial awareness: The physical body is too small to contain all that we feel. How can we expand our boundaries beyond the skin? Again the key is awareness. Bringing conscious attention to the external world: hearing sounds, seeing colors and shapes, immediately grows the living space. For many, attending to sound for a few moments, with the eyes closed is particularly helpful. You might feel strange, in the middle of a very demanding moment, to intentionally see a color or listen to the background sounds, yet I suggest if you try it, the results might amaze you.

Attending to the ground, the breath and the outer world require a shift of consciousness. I encourage you to experiment. More than simply reducing pressure, these shifts allow you to listen deeply and to enjoy the present moment more fully. This listening, this stepping beyond the habitual, reactive self is the key to our fulfillment and deep connectedness to life. Simply remember: Ground, Sound and Breath.

Be gentle with yourself. These shifts of attention are quite challenging in the heat of the moment. Practice in ordinary, non-demanding moments to build a reservoir of capacity. After many years of growing my capacity, there are still moments that can overtake me. In these situations I know that something inside feels very threatened and needs my care, my good listening. If I can’t listen wholeheartedly to another, I know that I need to listen well to the place in me that is feeling pressured. This kind of “self-empathy” will pave the way for a more global caring.

It is important to let go of rules and idealism when in a challenging moment. Sometimes, when feeling overwhelmed, separating from the situation for a short period can break the magnetism. In moments like this, we can offer a truly magical communication: “I really want to hear you AND I am starting to feel overwhelmed. I am about to respond in a way that I don’t want to. Let me take 15 minutes to reconnect with myself so that I can really listen to you”. Alternatively, when a particular feeling has carried you away, it can be very healing simply to say: “I am sorry I could not listen better.”

A note: for people who do not allow themselves strong feelings and habitually defer others, it can be a positive, temporary step to allow your emotion to come forward powerfully. Allowing this can sometimes bring movement to a stuck situation. We want to be mindful of creating more suffering through our words and actions. The overall direction is to be able to be wholeheartedly listening to self and other as often as possible.

As I said at the beginning, the same quality of listening to others can be applied to our own inner voices and to the entire situation in which we are living. When there is a feeling or thought that is challenging, we usually get pulled into it. When pulled into, there is no space, no possibility for awareness. We are like the balloon bursting with overwhelming, sensations. The antidotes discussed in this article for working with other people are completely applicable to listening to your self.

“I am in a lot of pain” she said.
“Tell me about it” he said.